Parents

This came across my Twitter recently from some ed leaders that I follow.  I thought it was necessary to share it with everyone.  I hope it serves as encouragement to feel comfortable standing up for your child’s education.
Derek Oldfield

Parent Pushback

Lately, I am seeing a troubling trend that I am sure is not new, but as a “younger” parent I am starting to take notice of. Many of my friends have kids starting back at school as well as countless members of my PLN online. My inboxes, streams and updates are flooded with great back to school pictures but also some complaints. It appears that lots of parents have experienced things with their child in school they are not happy with. This is not a terribly new occurrence but some of the reactions are not sitting right with me.

Parents are loathing the fact they have to sign a paper indicating if their child doesn’t turn their work in on time it will be marked as a zero. They post updates about the absurdity of a teacher’s homework calendar and insane amount of packets that are coming home nightly for completion. Some are even sharing personal stories about signing off on classroom rules and policies they completely disagree with. Another trend is children being injured at school and parents not being notified. This troubles me. If parents are upset enough to post and share about these things, then why are they not taking steps to change it? Why are they not at least making it a point of conversation with their child’s teacher or building staff?

When I begin questioning these individuals, they all have excuses about why they do not step up and push back on the classroom teacher. The most common answer is they don’t want their words or actions to be held against their child. There is a fear if they become “that parent” their child will be singled out and treated differently because of it. Another reason I have heard is many of these parents are teachers in their child’s district and have a level of anxiety over their jobs. If they push back as a parent, what will that mean for their role as a teacher?

I wish I had an easy answer to those problems because the sad reality is both of those things happen in some cases. I have seen this first hand and it is something in the back of my mind as a parent. I can’t defend those teachers and yet many teachers would welcome the parent feedback and others just may need to be pushed. As a teacher if I am doing something that is upsetting to a parent or family, I want to be aware of it. If not, I can’t change my practice or at least have an opportunity to explain my actions. On the other side of the fence, as a parent I feel that my children deserve the best education possible and will advocate as such in a professional and appropriate manner. If parents are not willing to standup for what they know or think is right, the inevitable outcome is more negative updates and inboxes.

Just as I feel teachers have a moral obligation to stand up for every child, do we not expect parents to do the same for their own? Yes, I recognize that many educators fear parents will be unreasonable or inappropriate in their perceived demands. If we as parents stand by and allow things we disagree with to be done to our children, we are part of the problem. On the other hand, if we as teachers do not provide opportunities and situations for parents to provide that feedback, then we are the bigger problem.

What are you doing as a parent to constructively push back on your child’s school or teacher? As a teacher, how are you providing a forum for this discussion to take place?

2 thoughts on “Parents

  1. I am a parent who would like to think I am active in my child’s education. I have rarely been met with a negative outcome when bringing a problem to an educator’s attention and asking for additional effort from them. However I realize that there is a fine line between the proper way to approach the issue and the improper way of assigning blame and expecting an immediate solution.
    I believe lack of good and effective communication is to blame for the majority of most issues between student, educator, and parent. I would like to say I appreciate and admire your unsolicited and open communication efforts between your students and us parents. Sadly most teachers I have found hard to communicate with. What little feed back you generally do get from them is mostly negative and judgmental in context. Thank you for at the least going out of your way to establish open and welcomed forms of communication.
    Math is probably one of the most dreaded subjects in school, so you definitely have your work cut out for you. In the same regard your students (8th grade as I am referring to) have a lot of strikes against them. This is a stressful time in their lives socially, emotionally, and physically. School presents problems of its own, add on the extra baggage of adolescence and the weight of today’s advanced maturity rate and wow, all i can say is I’m glad I’m not back in school.
    Again this reply is to simply acknowledge your request for feed back and applaud your efforts 😉 thank you

    • Thank you so much for your reply! I appreciate the feedback, I really do. I wish more emphasis was placed on developing communication with those at home. You are as much a stakeholder in a student’s education as I am. I enjoy meeting people and I enjoy communicating. I think God allows me that gift for a reason 🙂
      Thank you for your comment!

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